Why?

WHY?  I've been asked this question in different forms over and over when explaining my long hikes.  "Why would you do that to yourself?", "Why would you go by yourself?", "Why not take some protection?" (in most cases, they're speaking of firearms or SAR beacons) , "Why not take that money and invest it/go on a nice vacation/buy something tangible?" One of the most memorable- "I just read your blog.  I don't like that." My mom was referring to this post from my PCT thru-hike.

I explain my reasoning if the person asking is open to it.  My explanations are most times tired and boring: "It's fun...mostly", "I like to challenge myself", "I can't take that, it'd be too heavy/illegal", "Yes", "No".  Most of my adventurous friends understand my desire to hike on some level, even if they don't understand why I would choose to do multiple marathon- to ultra-marathon- distance days in a row for months on end.  

I definitely ask myself this question at times.  Why did I neglect to bring a compass?  Why am I crossing a 30 degree-angled ice field with a few hundred-foot open drop below as the sun just hit it with one trekking pole and trail runners? Why am I alone in mountain lion/bear/Roan Mountain territory?  Why am I hitch-hiking solo? Why did I just do this/that/the other? Why didn't I just do this/that/the other?  Why did I eat all that food knowing I had a 15-mile uphill coming out of town?  Why are there so many BUGS?!

There are so many reasons I choose to thru-hike, as well as live my life the way I do.  The camaraderie. The views. The wildlife. The not-so-wildlife. The challenge. It's something I'm good at. I get higher feelings of self-awareness from it. The gear I now have an excuse to buy. I love the accomplished feeling I get from challenging myself.  Some parts of our society have become too comfortable, too easy.  I promised myself a while ago I would never become complacent.

All of these reasons boil down to one constant theme: because I can.  I hike because I can. I explore the world around me, try new things, do things that (at times) scare the living daylights out of me, eat, move, sleep, be merry because I can.  I am one of the lucky ones, which I try to constantly remind myself.  I get to hike for thousands of miles because I want to.  I get to be myself, be who I want to be.  I don't have much holding me back- my body works well enough, I have all of my original parts and pieces.  My mind works too efficiently- at times I can't keep up with it.  I don't have any societal norms holding me back, no parent selling me to the highest bidder, no terrible situation I have to make it through.  I'm not starving, restricted in many ways, in a war zone, or terribly mentally/physically mutilated.  So I can.

And I do.  I love living life to the fullest, at times to the chagrin of members of society whose priorities are different.  As I'm hiking above tree line along the spine of a 12,000 ft mountain, on my 30th mile of the day, looking forward to dinner even though I just ate lunch, I think to myself, "Why not?"